#40

Tinder #10
He was SO handsome, and Irish – it’s mah genes.
He hadn’t been in Australia long, he was in the same industry as me, and was even living in my old neighbourhood. He totally piled on the schpeel about trying to find a ‘partner’ and wasn’t a player, and found Australian dating and men kinda strange ( I agree ) but the conversation turned into that narcissistic sex talk quite quickly, ok he hasn’t been laid for a while, boys and their ‘blue-balls n all’, any other time I would have been rolling with the conversation but I was torn.

He called me on the phone, his thick Irish accent made it difficult to understand, and trying to grasp his cultural nuances made me realise, regardless of genes I am so far removed from anything really Irish I was out of my depth, I’m a British born, London influenced, happily migrated Californian girl that now resides back in Australia.
Anyway, he said he was in the area and could he drop by? – sure I said, it felt ok, and then I put the phone down and realised I’d just invited a total stranger to my house at night??????? I’d never done this before. Fark.
It’s ok I thought, I do ‘wrestling’ lol

He arrived and was gorgeous, but edgy, like – not relaxed. He was like a visitor eager to see my place, my yard, he loved it, chatted about his travels, his work, where he was at with his visa, and yes it was me that initiated. He was shaved within an inch of his life.
Have you ever had sex with someone, and suddenly you feel like your in a porn video? yeah well, the ‘ooh baby do you like my hard cock in you?’ diatribe is not what us gals look for in a mate, just in case any males are reading this. We finished, and I was happy for him to leave. I was tired.
The days after, I was hoping for some kind of text, phone call, follow up….anything….but nothing. I sent him a text 5 days later “where dya go?” to which I got some weird sarcastic response. I felt like an idiot. I tried to cover my tracks with another text, saying I was leaving for Sydney, that maybe text wasn’t a good format for us, with too much cultural misinterpretation and lets stick to phone calls. He replied with a, have a great time, talk when we get back, phew, I’d stabilized it.

It’s been over 3 weeks since I saw him, Ive been to Sydney and back, had the flu, sort of recovered but not really and suddenly I get a phone call from him at 7am, in fact 3 in a row, of which I ignore, a text saying contact me urgently. Weird, I reply, sick in bed, what’s so urgent?, no response. Two days later he starts calling over and over again, then the texts, he wants me to ask my boss at work, to apply for a visa for him as a trainer to stay in Australia, he is insistent, I’d be doing him a favour, I’m gobsmacked, and reply with that. Now the guy is stalking me. I don’t even know him, WHY would I ask my boss to do such a thing, he hasn’t even followed up after poor porn sex, and now he wants something !!!
He literally won’t stop calling me, texting me, he sounds desperate and pathetic now, the bullshit story about finding a partner fell apart after he failed to contact me, and after my last 2 dates where I realise men will saying literally ANYthing to get laid, my tolerance is low.
I told him, I expect a certain level of manners and courtesy, neither of which he has honoured me with and now he thinks I can give him something that I can’t.
Can I come and see you he texts?, NO its 10pm I’m in bed, go away.
He calls and calls, and calls……wow.

I text him. Your a good looking guy, there are a million gyms, go ask them.

O dear, the guy knows where I live……
I hope he doesn’t turn up here.

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