tinder # 1

The Wine Maker

We bounced back and forth for months, he was working away in the mines, he was courteous and polite, 32, he said he was from the ‘wine country’ and was a wine maker, but the money in the mines had lured him there, he had a 14 year old daughter, and offered to fly me up to meet him. After many phone calls and consistent texts, we tried to skpe a couple of times but his connection up there sucked. He was cute, lil gap in his front teeth, dark thick short hair, a bit salt and pepper, a bit on the shy side, easy going.

He said he loved to cook, and lured me in about stories of his intricate knowledge of the female body. He had a little bit of a party history being a DJ at one point in his life and we shared stories about the ol’ party days. It sounded like he’d been away working, and hadn’t had much female contact for a while, said he’d committed to staying there full time, for the money and wouldn’t be able to start commuting till April, I didn’t question this.

Now If I’ve learnt one thing about this internet thingy – is that you have to take it into the real world asap, coz your brain has ways of creating shit based on the limited, if even truthful information they are providing. We project massively.

He paid and I went to mines to stay in a hotel, he brought food and water. He reminded me of a 14 year old boy that had never had sex before, starvingly rampant like he had not seen a woman in a millions years. I just put it down to working 14 hour shifts underground and no local brothel ……!!! can you believe it ? a town full of hardworking cashed up horny men and NO brothel……wha’??? There’s my madam voice calling me again !!!

He was eager but manageable….I was reminiscing about my days in the house scene in the late 80’s in London and I guess he must have felt comfortable enough to divulge to me he had just done 3 years in jail and was in fact in the mines on home detention, he was caught with a ridiculous amount of E’s and an even larger amount of cash, embellished many stories of outrageous wheeling’s, dealings and the growing of large crops, naming the clubs he’d enter with 30 plus pills, exchange for cash, load 3 grand in his car, grab another bag of 30 pills and enter the next club, and repeat this process all night, this was his job…. loading cash into his car all night. Its hard to comprehend most of us work for an hourly fee, but you can pop out on a Saturday night and come home with in excess of 30 grand, a  career filled with both benefits and downfalls. He wasn’t quite clear about how he got caught, but he was quite adamant he wasn’t going back there. Now if I do my math, he’s been smoking pot since he was 14, he is now 32, he smoked pot everyday in jail, but is now being urine tested at the mines and has been officially clean for only 6 months, to me that means he’s an emotional 14 year old –  I know a little harsh, but the truth. Now I am not one to judge, it is not what has happened to us in the past but what we choose to do with what life throws at us, and how we choose to move forward.

He was clearly having a serious career change, and intended to stay working in the mines, no one of whom knew he had this schmoozy home D deal…….

How the hell do I find these guys??


I don’t regret going, it nipped my projections Id been creating right in the bud – a wine maker? pfffft – an ecstasy dealer !!!, actually worse, a busted ecstasy dealer.

We kept in touch, he was being ‘let-out’ to attend a wedding, and wanted to drop by. He was overtly concerned that the time the authorities had allowed him to travel too and from this wedding wasn’t long enough to accommodate spending some time with me.

He did drop by, in his Armani suit, smelling good, looking smart. We dived into bed, the sex was mono. – one dimensional, he was being a starfish. And then as he was getting dressed, he sat on my bed and pulled a crack pipe out of his pants, a packet of white powder and proceeded to smoke right there in my bedroom. I was totally shocked. Apart from the fact I had been SO clear from the get-go about how much I hated that particular drug and anything to do with it, wasn’t he more concerned about not making it home in time?, yet he’s carrying a felony around in his pocket !!!omg the first chance this guy gets and he gets high on meth. wow.

Needless to say I hold no future interest in the ‘wine-maker’

He’d be off Home Detention by now. He’s probably high as I type.

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