On a cold wet Wednesday night at the back end of winter, I was closing shop and started getting pings from tinder, thick and fast, as I drove down to pick up some food. My Wednesday routine was fairly regular, long day, late close, food, admin, sauna, bed. So I played along with the texts, he did sound interesting. “I want to meet you” he said, I’m like suuuure – whatever, (I’m going home to bed) He asked if he could call. So I chatted to him in the car for a bit, he was light, a bit quirky, funny, really easy to talk too, fast thinking, and was out to dinner at a work function that he said was boring. I continued on with my food shopping and made it home. It slipped back to texting, I thought he was gone but it kept going.

Flirty, funny, cheeky, persistent, Don, 30. Before I knew it he was on the phone again about to get in a cab, “what’s your address?” he kind of put me on the spot but it wasn’t late and I wasn’t drunk so I thought I had control of the situation. Till I realised I had a very drunk man in my living room. Clearly  I was out of my alcohol drenched depth. He backed off a bit and we tried to chat, he was originally from Bondi Beach, he loved to surf, he recently spent 3 months just travelling and surfing, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, South America, he had a geology degree, a mining degree and a business degree, and big diamond companies paid him buckets of money to tell them what to buy. He was borderline arrogant and it was clear that he was used to telling people what to do  – so smart, I wish I had been that switched on so early. He said he lived in Adelaide in the city but travelled a lot. This had potential. I tried to catch up on drinks, He was blatantly flirty borderline eager puppy, he was all over me. I still had my work clothes on, I had trained twice that day and felt grimy. I escaped to take a shower, I’ll just go with the flow. The next thing I know he is naked in the shower next to me. I could see the remnants of the surfer but his surface was coated in desk jockey, lack of exercise too much booze and food blanket, he had a Leo tattooed on his chest,  but I don’t think I can honestly tell you the last time I was given head in the shower. Isn’t that a line from a Nelly song. “when I’m depressed she gives me head off in the bath tub” All of a sudden things started to go into slow motion, I had a Carrie Bradshaw’esque dialogue running in my head of me talking to Amanda, I started laughing to myself. The hot water, the skin on skin, our mouths just seemed to belong together. I seriously felt like I was 19 and having a wild de’ja’vu or something. I felt light and giddy.

We dried off and headed straight to my room, game on. He had so much energy he was literally bouncing all over the place, he had a running dialogue of pornographic fantasies just about all of which I rejected, he was funny, he was trying to make his way into any orifice he could whilst I was squirmed backwards across the bed, he would stop grab my ankles drag me back across the bed and start again, we did this about 5 or 6 times, it was like a workout, the whole time he was kissing and talking and making me laugh. This was fun, we had a lot of sex in a lot of different positions and then collapsed in a heap and fell asleep entwined.

Now that Ive been on this ‘hook up’ thing for a bit, usually they just leave, but sometimes you wake up and they are still there….and for a second there is that sense of awkwardness of sober morning afterness. But somehow it didn’t feel like that at all, we woke up realised we were both there and picked up exactly where we left off from the night before. He said and did a few things that reminded me of an ex, and the familiarity started to freek me a out a bit. It had that feeling of realising you were in the presence of something significant. That made me feel really calm.

Reality started to creep back in, he had to be at work by 12, we watched each other get dressed like couples do and headed to the local café for breakfast. I clipped my morning after hair back, put on some dark glasses and quietly realised I had swollen lips. He paid for breakfast, he read the newspaper, I could see the business man appearing, the energy from the night before starting to really drain away. He said that work was sending him to Townsville that Friday. I dropped him off in the city, the penny hadn’t quite dropped when he called a main city street by the wrong pronunciation that only a tourist would do. He didn’t live in Adelaide at all…..He kissed me on the mouth said he’d see me before he left. I felt secure that I would see him again but things didn’t feel quite right.

He texted me later that day to say work was sending him that night but asked if I would send some photos while he was gone. So I did……..3 weeks and I still hadn’t a text or a call, I felt like an idiot. I sent a text. I never heard back. That was about 2 months ago. And then 11 pm I was just about to fall asleep on a Tuesday and the phone rings…..”yeah?” I say..”you sound angry” I’m pissed…you lied to me, then disappeared what girl wouldn’t be pissy?

He was tired, he was in Townsville, it seems he lives out of a suitcase, and work just sends him from one place to another, all he did was work he said, but he loved his job, he said he wanted to see me and asked if he could fly down. That he’d been back to Adelaide since but was too scared to call me, that text I sent freaked the shit out of him which, exactly was the intention. For a day or so there I seriously thought of clearing time to see him but then I text him to say I was busy. I haven’t heard anything since.


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